I Have Seen This Question Being Peddled Mainly by Men, Who Are Worried About Their Marriages Not Lasting as Long as Those They Imagine Lasted from the 1920s.
Well, bad news! Boys! I know you wouldn’t have the guts to ask your Matriarchs about their marriages and experiences. However, worldwide, from Kenya to Europe, marriages have always been the same. They have the same script, challenges, advantages, and disadvantages.
We inherently have this notion that everything bad is happening in this generation and that everything wonderful happened when slavery was legal and way before we were born.
It must be nice living in such thoughts because then, you don’t have to face the realities of life.
So, how did grandmother’s marriage really last?
Truth Is That Marriages in the 1980s or 1960s Lasted Just Because:
⛔Most women married young since educating girls was not a priority; they were married at 15 to 18 with very little, if any, ambition or goals. This was a global issue
⛔Women did not have a choice of leaving bad marriages since they fully depended on a husband for survival.
⛔It was humiliating to be a divorcee, remain unmarried, or be an unmarried mother with a fatherless child. The village would shun you.
⛔Women were mostly married against their will and once they had children, they were forced to stay married even if they experienced violence.
⛔Women did not have jobs, were not allowed to have a career, hence no income to survive together with their children outside of a man.
So yeah, that’s why your grandmother’s marriage lasted 40 years.
Why Do We Have Women Easily Leaving Marriages Today?
✅Women today have jobs and equal opportunities to be self-sufficient.
✅Women are educated today, and there’s no rush to get married while young.
✅Society is no longer loudly shaming women for getting out of bad or unfair marriages.
✅Parents no longer have the right to marry their underage daughters off forcefully.
✅Fathers and parents have generally realized the importance of educating children of both sexes equally.
A man in one of my social posts said that “Women did all the work as men were in towns having fun” and justified it with “and they never complained”.
Well, slaves could not complain about how badly they were treated either.
Think back to your village, you’ll remember mothers who suffered under violent, drunk, abusive husbands who did not provide for the 7 children they made, and such wives had to do “Vibarua” to afford books, food and pens for their kids.
All said and done, the only thing you can do these days is get into a marriage with a PARTNERSHIP mindset, followed by companionship. No one is willing to come into your life so that you can enslave them with house chores.
Women today have the choice of leaving a man with children without looking back. Men have the choice of never marrying and nobody judges them for it.
In Conclusion;
The key to a lasting marriage today lies in mutual respect, partnership, and companionship.
It’s only by embracing these values and understanding that both partners have equal rights and opportunities that modern couples can build relationships that are not only long-lasting but also genuinely fulfilling for both parties.
Otherwise, We theca Nja.