We often talk about wives letting themselves go once they’re married, but we ignore the husbands who do the same thing.
Once the phase of pursuing you is over, the effort of dating and impressing you goes out the window, and this is how men become undesirable after marriage.
Society has spent a lifetime! asking women not to become undesirable. And now it’s time we ask a different question: how many husbands have quietly become undesirable husbands while nobody was paying attention to their complacency?
Nobody talks about how men change after marriage, but I will.
1. They add weight, and stomachs protrude;
You’d think they’re about to give birth to quads after the 3rd year of marriage. Just eating junk from morning to evening, with weekends filled with meat and beer. Some even look like they’re suffering from kwashiorkor.
2. They stop bathing twice a day;
It’s like they were impressing you with body freshness, but now that you’re in their house cooking for them, they don’t give a hoot about hygiene. They think not going out of the house for 24hours mneans they’re fresh
3. They stop brushing their teeth twice a day.
They wake up and immediately ask you, “Where’s my blue shirt?” – with that morning stunk of a skunk because they no longer think it’s important to brush their teeth or even swish salty water in their mouth before sleeping.
4. They stop buying clothes for themselves.
Since they married you, they no longer know their way to the Imenti house to buy clothes. They know their relatives will judge YOU for not taking care of their son’s clothing as if he were 5.
5. They wear worn-out underwear.
He no longer cares. He thinks you’re the default buyer of things, so they’ll wear worn-out undies until you’re disgusted on their behalf enough to replace. As if the man is 3.
6. Heavy drinking and smoking.
They no longer eat supper at home; they’re out there entertaining friends until 3 AM. Acts like they’re 19 and just discovered alcohol. Excessive drinking eventually contributes to visible signs like dark circles around the eyes, weight issues, and lifestyle diseases like diabetes. By 42, he looks like he’s 65.
7. They Stop Dating Their Wives
Men, like women, put huge and expensive effort into courtship, then retire once the woman settles into their house. Clubbing together becomes for “milayas,” so they opt to go to the club with besties, instead of their wives.
8. They stop doing “stuff” with you and for you.
They start requiring you to ask them for “assistance”, ask them to fix something in the house, and even remind them about it every 3 months. gross!
Even when it comes to child care, you’ll hear them say they’re “babysitting” instead of parenting their children.
9. They stop being ambitious.
These characters turn wives into their house managers while they see themselves as bosses who need constant pestering to do anything, instead of equal partners.
Some of them stop having interest in growth. If you both started life in a single room, they get so comfortable there that they never want to grow beyond this. Anything to improve life to them becomes “expensive.” yet when you met, you both had ambitions of a better life, sahii yeye ni Kamakis tu na story za ball.
They strongly refuse to learn new skills as life changes. Sasa kama hiyo wako amekubali ku learn Ai nayeye ni accountant? 馃槖
Na usipo fanya anything about it as a woman, mtakaa hio single hadi mkilea teenagers, yet he makes enough money to live in a better environment.
10. They want worship and admiration even when offering nothing.
Despite them failing on all the above examples, they will still want you to suck ’em ballz when they come home at 4AM stark drunk. After treating you like their house manager, after not doing the house shopping as requested, they will want you to massage their ego. 馃檮
11. Kiburi
Hawa wakipata pesa hivi….kwisha wewe. They even piss on you. They no longer see you
The irony is that some husbands, and men generally, expect their wives to remain exactly as they were before marriage, while making very little effort themselves.
Men, please note that your wife can feel lonelier sitting next to you – once you become an emotionally absent husband – than she did while single.
What Supports Lasting Attraction, You Ask?
First off, open, non-judgmental conversations about body changes, stress, and health will prevent resentment and sour judgment from both ends.
I understand that the pressure of providing for and leading a household changes a man鈥檚 emotional state, often causing stress and withdrawal, especially during hard times, but failing to address this can cause irreparable damage to a relationship.
Since women experience similar changes after marriage, such as hormonal changes, weight changes, aging, and priorities, both parties need to work together to keep attraction flowing.
Most of us don’t just become “undesirable” after marriage. It’s just that bodies change. Priorities shift. Life happens. And we get too busy and too stressed to keep up.
So:
- Communicate and even ask for your partner’s input or advice.
- Discuss the changes you’re experiencing openly. Muulize mfanye nini na hizo vitambi.
- Prioritize family time.
- Prioritize hygiene; you can’t hop on matatus the whole day and want to lie in white sheets at night with your dusty ass.
- Remain respectful even after you get wealthier or poorer.
- Protect your partner by showing up for her. Otherwise utapangwa.
In Conclusion:
What keeps a genuine attraction is intentional care, mutual respect, and ongoing emotional investment. Sio one-way traffic. Input yako lazima ikue felt.
Otherwise, everything will go downhill very fast, and everyone will start looking outside the relationship for these things.
As much as a lasting marriage thrives on shared values, emotional intimacy, and mutual growth, physical attraction keeps the connection. So… try to impress the person you chose and who chose you.
Men change. Women change. The question is, are YOU worth choosing long after you’ve settled into comfort? Ama unafanya marafiki wake wamcheke vile umejiweka fwaaa?
