Eldest daughter, yours is not just a role; being a firstborn daughter, you become the automatic deputy parent. The fixer. Therapist. Mediator. Kuteseka since the 90s, so that everyone else can be okay.
You did not have time to be a kid. To play with kids. Dear Eldest Kenyan Daughter, it’s now time to choose Yourself.
This can also include the only daughters who had to bear the same troubles.
World Eldest Daughter Day is celebrated annually on August 26. It was created to specifically recognise and honour the emotional labour, responsibility, and unique role that firstborn daughters play within their families and society.
As a firstborn daughter, you’re left to care for everyone. You did not get a father’s love. You were parentified way too early.
Yani uko 7yrs na ushawekwa mtoto kwa mgongo ubebe.😴
Most firstborn daughters, especially Gen X and Millennials, were skipped over in receiving an education to pave the way for the others.
Most firstborn daughters in Kenya were turned into maids not only by their families but also by their extended relatives.
Your healing begins with you. I know you didn’t learn to say no. But do it henceforth.
- Watu wakikosana niwewe wanaletea vita utatue
- Watu wakipigania na huko, wanakuja kwako kulala kama escape.
- Mtu akilemewa na marriage yake anakuja kukaa kwako, watoto wako wana sacrifice ata bed comfort zao, for grown adults.
- Mzazi hataki kuenda kukaa kwa wengine, niwewe tu hutatua hizi shida.
- If you don’t call for a damily gathering, no one does.
- If you don’t pay for catering, utapika peke yako
PLEAAAAAASE. BREATH.
The family you have created now will heal from your healing when you become peaceful inside.
You’ve cared for others too long. You’ve carried too many responsibilities. Please take the first seat henceforth – especially if you’re a millennial firstborn daughter.
Try This!
1. Give up sugar or reduce it to get a glow.
2. Get proper skin treatment; spend on it unapologetically.
3. Eat right and eat healthy. Frequent good restaurants.
4. Cut off people still disrespecting you, like your little sister & her mother
5. Quit people-pleasing.
6. Quit that saviour mentality behaviour.
7. Ask for help when you need it.
8. Keep off things that distract you, like phones and busy bodies.
9. Don’t infantilise your man or males in your family. Let them be. Let them sleep hungry.
10. Ditch an incompetent, abusive spouse.
11. Stop paying bills for adults, especially males, or rescuing them monetarily.
12. If you’re the only one keeping a relationship alive, rest. Let it die.
13. Let relatives over 20 living in your house get a life.
14. Don’t interrupt wars that aren’t yours. Uncle yako wa 67yrs akipigana na huko kwa bar, it’s not your business.
15. Stop forgiving people. They’ll hurt you again. Wacha hio relationship ikufe.
16. Brother za mama yako waki fight, keep off that business.
17. When your siblings fight, let them sort it out on their own.
18. Sleep early.
19. Take all your leave days.
20. Rest. Sleep. Recover.
The firstborn daughter has always been blamed, criticised, compared, unappreciated, unseen, and neglected.
Sasa, Weka Hio Mzigo Chini. Choose yourself for the first time.
When you’re past 30 and you don’t focus on yourself NOW, you will struggle with direction forever.
If you have to choose something because of your status, choose to be a good mother instead of being a good daughter or sibling. Otherwise, the curse of hurt you received, YOU, will hand it to your own daughter, and the cycle won’t have ended with you.
~ Njoki
Have a beautiful day! Rest!
The Cycle Ends With You.