Some jobs provide more opportunities, incentives, and room for dishonesty than others. These are fields where there’s almost instant reward for cheating, a power imbalance, or the illusion of “I’ll never be caught.”
In most of these cases, instant gratification and its rewards are high in these careers, and the systems in place are too complex for outsiders to notice when they’re being played. Here are the jobs with the highest cheating rates in Kenya.
1. Doctors
Many doctors have tight schedules and spend long hours with their colleagues, and you know what familiarity breeds: bestie-bestie quickies in the changing rooms. Honestly, medics should date and marry other medics.
2. Nurses
Nurses, including those interning, work and hang out with powerful resident doctors, and probably hospital directors whom they can’t wait to impress. The probability of a nurse cheating on you is about 80%. If you’re not in this field, you wouldn’t understand the power dynamics. Add the salary delays in most public and private hospitals that might make some people bend way over for rent money. [Side note, Our government should be ashamed]
3. Matatu and Bus Drivers
Do we even need to discuss this category? College girls and CBD-working women thirst for this type of guys… “ndio wakae hapo mbele na wa wekewe kiti rush hours.” After four rides, the next five are free… and the payment is sex or fingering in the back seat.
3b. Truck Drivers
You can’t trust truck drivers. Just look at where they park their trucks – most are near red-light zones with many village roadside prostitutes. Even BBC has exposed how “madams” sell children and teens to these long-distance drivers. Be very worried.
4. Makangas / Touts
These ones, especially those in flashy NGANYA’s change women like shifts. One when driving to Rongai at 2 pm, and a different one when they return at 5 pm. They’ll never meet again, but they’ll likely share one thing – STDs.
5. Bartenders
They’re paid to make everyone smile, and somewhere between showing teeth and serving shots, a French kiss sneaks in. Be worried.
6. Club Waitresses and Hostesses
They deal with mannerless patrons every night – from spanking and unnecessary touching to “extra favors.” enquiries. When a single favor can pay a month’s salary in one day, saying no isn’t easy. Poverty is the real enemy here.
7. Pastors and Prophets
How many times have pastors been caught, collar and pants down, thrusting deep into their flock? Some have actually apologized publicly for impregnating members of the congregation, and others continue spreading their unholy seed to date. Some even confess to gang rapes. Ogopa hii gang sana!
8. Church Choir Members
Mostly liars. Including the ushers and most single church goers who think their passi is their daddy. Don’t engage.
9. FAFO Careers (Frequent-Travel Jobs)
If your job involves constant travel, please date someone who travels too. They’ll understand your lifestyle. Otherwise, your stay-at-home partner will feel abandoned – and betrayal WILL creep in.
10. Pastors
“Ring the alarm!” Someone please check on pastors’ wives. These women face a lot of problems in their marriage, problems that linger from violence to cheating. These pastors have dancing penises, and they can’t help themselves in the “prayer office” full of desperate wives looking for “deliverance”. Don’t marry a pastor for your own peace – unless you plan to cheat back and treat frequent STDs.
11. Politicians and Government Sycophants
Do we even need to discuss this? It’s a global epidemic. Power and proximity to it corrupts minds – and in every campaign stop, they leave a baby or two behind. If you must date one, do it for the money, not loyalty.
12. Actors, Musicians, DJs, Photographers, Social Media Celebs and Filmmakers
The entertainment industry is a sin and temptation headquarters. In Kenya, the stats already tell the story – very few relationships last. These people meet new faces daily, and that illusion of “I can do better”, illusions of options, and “being wanted by everyone”, the hundreds of comments on the sexy profile pic, and full DMs of beautiful people asking for dates, ruins everything.
13. Pilots and Flight Attendants
This group should date each other – it’s less stressful that way. Being home while your partner is going global all year is a recipe for chaos of the heart.
14. Law Enforcement
Police officers, soldiers, guards, ma watchie – their employers constantly move them from one town to another. New post, new lover. Nyege works overtime with these individuals. Date them at your own risk. Don’t you even see or hear your gateman’s drama with the househelps in your apartment? LOL
15. High-Ticket Salespeople, Personal Assistants, and C-Suite Execs
These ones should also date within their circle. They meet high-value clients and often get “too involved.” Midnight calls and 10 p.m. meetings in 5-star hotels are the perfect setup for single people and a huge risk of falling into flings just to close a deal.
Now that you know date these people at your own at your own risk.
Have I left any out? Let me know in the comments!