Sometimes, life humbles us. Comfort can go out the window within 7 days, and suddenly you’re seeking shelter at a friend’s place, a sibling’s, or that random relative who agrees to host you. …and by the way, It’s always easier to get accommodation when you don’t have a child in tow, so… maybe keep that in mind before you get any.
Otherwise you’ll cry my sister.
No matter how depressed you are about joblessness or hopelessness, please don’t stink. Always take a bath. You can’t be occupying space for free and also smell like sheep.
Wherever you sleep, bedroom, couch, floor mattress, keep it clean. Wash your beddings weekly, tidy up. Make your bed, mop the floor in that room! Don’t turn the place into a pigsty that the host has to pinch their nose when getting in.
This isn’t your home, so, don’t “feel at home” too much. You can’t be waking up at noon expecting cooked breakfast like some royalty being served by your host. [rolls eyes] Then head straight to the kitchen to eat 7 slices of toasted bread, then eat lunch at 4pm. It’s bad manners.
Whether the house has a maid, nanny, house help, or not, just use commonsense and pick a duty and own it. Even something simple like washing dishes every evening. Trust me, consistency makes you less of a burden, even to the helps of that home.
If there are kids or teenagers around, don’t just lurk around. Teach them something, be friendly, help with homework, life skills, something that makes them respect you. Kids are sharp; they know who’s a pest and who’s always sleeping and eating in the house.
Offer to cook once in a while, or at least help out with something. You can’t have your host slaving over chapati and stew preparation and cooking for three hours while you’re sprawled on their sofa drowning yourself in their Wi-Fi and scrolling over netflix.
Usipiganie remote na watoto please in the name of ati you want to watch news or kum kum bagya. Know your place!
Stop locking yourself in your given room like you’ve rented it. It’s rude to disappear while everyone else is in the living room or dining area. If that’s your vibe, maybe just move out and go live by yourself?
If your host has a partner, respect the boundaries. Don’t bypass the person who invited you and go straight to ‘asking. their spouse for things, texting them, calling them unnecessarily. That’s a recipe for unnecessary awkwardness.
This is not your house. Don’t bring your friends, situationships, neighbors and overnight lovers to crash and cum all over the seats and sheets. Even if you think you’re close to the host, please don’t. Respect the space. One day they’ll find out and they’ll hate you. Imagine hosting your bro, only to find him with his 4 friends eating all your breakfast at 5pm with a sink full of dishes for you to clean because after this , they’ll be going to watch football at the bar.
Don’t leave utensils piled in the sink or on the dining table like you’re running a kibandaski. Whether there’s a house help or not, wash your damn own mess. Helpers in the home will hate you for adding to their work otherwise, and rightfully so. Adabu muhimu!
Please. Using half a bottle of Glade at 7:59 p.m. after a bathroom trip – which by Nairobi Apartments, are next to the living room is NOT ideal. Everyone knows you pooped, and they’re disgusted. Drink more water, eat clean. Time your sessions responsibly.
Final Word
At the end of the day, do everything in your power to get your own place even if it’s just a tiny bedsitter for 3-5k rent. Your own space, your own rules is best for your peace of mind. Because no matter how much your host swears they love you, eventually people get tired of people, relatives and friends it doesn’t matter. Everyone loves their space… without YOU in it.
A host’s kindness is not your entitlement, and hospitality has it’s limits. Don’t test them, either pull your weight or pull out.